Men and women have always occupied a large space in the world of proverbs and folk tales, in an endless dramatic series where the relationships between the genders intertwine within the framework of our traditional societies.

Despite the enjoyment of these "episodes," they can ignite biases and narrow roles. Heritage is a mirror of society that reflects its flaws as well as its glory, and one of the most prominent flaws is the injustice of humans towards their fellow humans.

Proverbs have always recorded this bitter reality in various forms, to the point where some overlook their deep meaning behind the humor and mockery.

However... we still see the shadows of these restrictions infiltrating into the details of our lives, like clouds that obscure the sun from us, so we walk in a tunnel with no way out except to acknowledge this problem and confront it.

Away from delving into the depths of books in search of literary injustices, let's simply review some texts that have found their place on the shelves of myths and social restrictions that have negatively impacted us, and have become interconnected in a single extended line with our reality in the Arab world.

Raisins and an Olive!

Stories of the oppression of women abound, and women suffer under oppression throughout history. But what if violence were a raisin! Or if you were an olive that needs to be picked every now and then, have you ever thought that if a rib were broken for you, 24 would appear instead of it? Or that you are a bridge in need of repair, or that the brains of a hundred women like you are not equal to the brain of a single crazy chicken? I can almost guarantee that you have seen these disgusting and hindering descriptions.

One cannot delve into the world of proverbs and common sayings without feeling shocked and disgusted by the extent of discrimination that escalates from them. Our popular sayings are full of phrases that belittle and limit women. They are also filled with hate speech and explicit calls for violence. But according to their belief, these sayings are evidence of love, and it is very natural for your father or brother, even if he is abusive, to discipline you. You are fortunate to have a husband or a brother, and even if he is abusive, you are always the one to blame because you angered him, so be silent and stop complaining.

On another note, on the string of injustice...

Love your lover even if he is black, spit on him and he'll stick to you, or men are like balls, the more you kick them away, the more they come back. Men are a mercy at home even if they are charcoal! This last phrase is a double blow, as gender discrimination here is coupled with a high dose of racism. But does popular heritage oppress men?

It cannot be said that popular heritage generally oppresses men, as it includes a wide range of stories and tales that address various aspects of life and relationships. However, some of these stories contain discrimination or social expectations that restrict men. For example, in some popular proverbs, men are portrayed as symbols of strength and bravery, which imposes heavy responsibilities on them and puts social pressures on them. This can be a cause of stress or anxiety for men who do not fit this ideal image. Who said that men are emotionally cold and that you, as a woman, can control them by neglecting, humiliating, and belittling them!

However, we must note that popular heritage is not just an accurate representation of the current reality. It reflects the nature of traditional societies, values, and beliefs that prevailed at that time. With social development and changing values, the roles and expectations associated with men and women may also change.

If a woman goes to Mars, she'll end up in the kitchen!

This popular heritage may slightly misrepresent men, but let me tell you a secret. Do you know who decided these social restrictions? A group of men, as in our language and other languages. Why were they exclusively men?

Because they themselves were the ones who preceded and also decided that a woman's job is cooking, washing, breastfeeding, and minding the children. No restrictions were placed. We are talking about paving words, forming sentences, and ideas with masculine connotations, forming a separate controversy.

Jokes that are not funny!

A woman is half a brain and the devil shares it.

Two scorpions on the wall are not as bad as having two daughters at home.

Men only live through their bellies and their fists.

Men are the head of the family.

Most of the time, these offensive judgments do not only come from men; women also repeat them with conviction simply because they were raised on them and believe in them. Moreover, they are not only used to prove a point or justify injustice done to them, but what's worse is that they are thrown around casually in social gatherings and conversations. Some women themselves laugh when they hear them, unaware of the harm they cause to their collective self-image. Yes, women laugh, shrug their shoulders, and stay silent because, in their opinion, these words are just proverbial sayings, and they don't want to appear nagging.

Away from the noise and all that is artificial,

Although popular heritage may pose some challenges, it carries values and teachings that have been a reference point for us in one way or another.

Proverbs and stories can play an important role in guiding us towards justice, tolerance, and equality. I don't claim that all these proverbs are bad; some of them are gems of insight and wisdom, and advice.

Some of them have helped and comforted me in many difficult situations. One in particular inspired me on how to act in times of confrontation. But for this very reason, because proverbs have the ability to influence and inspire us, and because they are easily imprinted in our memory, their damage can be real and irreversible.

Bridges of the past,

When we contemplate the bridges of the past, we find that some of them are rare pearls that adorn our traditional cultures and convey deep wisdom from one generation to another. They weave expressive stories and intriguing symbols that make us reflect on their meanings and derive lessons from them. They were not mere passing words; they were inspiring symbols engraved in our minds.

However, with the advancement of technology and the changing nature of communication in our current era, the rules of the game have completely changed. Social networks and the internet have become platforms for the rapid exchange of ideas and expressions, and individuals are now connected to the world with a single touch. This rapid and direct communication has undoubtedly affected our language and expressions.

People today tend to rely on personal advice and individual judgments, often from anonymous sources, rather than the famous faces of popular proverbs. Many believe that they are capable of smart thinking and making appropriate decisions on their own, and therefore see no need to resort to old popular proverbs. This cultural shift may be behind the absence of new proverbs in our current era.

But the moon is closer here,

I am aware that each phase we go through has its responsibilities, and I wish that the social circles around us appreciate these priorities so that we do not hear hurtful phrases such as "A chicken's mind is a hundred times smarter than a rooster's" or "Buying a servant is better than raising one" or even "The men are absent, and the women have left!" With limited time and effort, let us remember our opposing strength, our ability to create a fair heritage. We are the heritage, but the restrictive concepts are abhorrent and obsolete, used without thinking.

Sometimes, it simply takes saying the word "no". Certainly, a woman's fate is not either a man or the grave! And women are not like carpets in need of "dusting". And hitting is not like a raisin, but rather a bitter poison. Be strong enough to find your security in a man who is not "trapped in a sieve". Don't be just ordinary visitors; fuel the journey of making differences. Change, don't adapt. It is time to write new stories that keep up with the challenges we face today. And who knows? New stories, brighter than ever, may be born!

Hadeel Hussam Aldeen