In light of the human crisis and migration resulting from the Syrian war, a unique phenomenon emerged that combines love and condemnation, which is "marriage on travel", not just a challenge to geographical boundaries, but a challenge to the harsh circumstances and ordeals faced by the population in times of conflict.
Over the past few years, Syria has witnessed radical changes in its social fabric, as some have resorted to marriage on travel as a way to stay with those they love in times of chaos, these couples combine two painful truths: staying away from war and seeking to build a new life together.
The waves of collective asylum to Europe since 2015 imposed this type of marriage on Syrian society, forcing thousands to search for a future partner through phone screens.
But is it just a product of difficult circumstances, or is it an expression of challenge to circumstances? The answer lies in the stories of individuals who have engaged in this type of marriage. Their stories may be complex and painful, but they shed light on the strong human bonds and the challenges they face.
Through a journey of contemplation in the history of marriage on travel in Syria, we reveal the paradoxes of this phenomenon and its interaction with wars and migration. It is the story of the search for safety and love in unsafe times, and how individuals unite to build a better future despite the harsh circumstances.
Marriages of Desperation
"Reunification" marriages have become one of the few options for many Syrian girls to avoid the fate of "spinsterhood" and poverty, by getting engaged to a partner living abroad who seeks to bring them over.
Amidst despair and suppressed desires to emigrate, social media platforms have turned into a market for virtual marriages, with specialized groups emerging to connect bachelors and bachelorettes online, in meetings devoid of the bare necessities of love and harmony, giving rise to manufactured love stories whose ultimate goal is to obtain a visa to escape the inferno.
Behind every ad for a "virtual marriage" is a sad tale of despair and burning desire to flee the hell of war and its miseries... So will these "migrating dreams" succeed in crossing borders and reaching safe shores?
The conviction of "do not marry your daughter to a traveling young man".. has changed!
The prolonged war is pushing more and more girls to take risks with their futures in order to escape the hell of reality, through “despair marriages” that falsely promise a better life outside the country.
The grip of poverty, the declining standard of living, the spread of unemployment and the emigration of the country's youth have pushed millions of girls to succumb to these virtual marriages with partners abroad, in a desire to escape or support their families.
Not to mention the female's desire to establish her life in a place that respects her humanity and her rights, so she sees in the "travel marriage" option an opportunity for legal migration to a country that enables her to work for a decent financial compensation through which she can support her retired parents in Syria.
But behind the promises of travel and prosperity, a bitter surprise awaits many. Is risking the future really worth the price of escaping the nightmare of the present?
Syrian Brides Market
Hundreds of pages and groups are spreading on social media platforms, displaying a strange "commodity"... Syrian brides at attractive prices! This is not a new phenomenon, but has become commonplace since the migration wave began at the start of the war on Syria.
Amidst the grinding war, girls are being displayed as cheap goods, with all the ugly details of their ages, qualifications and moral traits listed so that men residing abroad can choose them as partners for the purpose of migration.
However, these "markets" are turning the family building project into just another commodity, as this widespread phenomenon fragments society and destroys its values, resulting in major social and psychological tragedies.
Do young people realize the scale of the risk they are taking with their own and their society's future in exchange for achieving false dreams?
The Journey of Love and Challenges
When girls choose to emigrate and reunite in new countries, their stories intertwine with psychological and social challenges, as the rule of law is not the only factor at play. Sometimes they have no rights if there is disharmony, which puts them in a difficult situation.
At the same time, young men sometimes present an inaccurate picture of their circumstances, especially regarding marrying girls in Syria, while the latter find themselves forced to accept this opportunity for marriage and migration as a means to escape the difficult economic situation.
The psychological effects appear most prominently after marriage, as long-distance communication does not provide a complete picture of a partner's ethics, which increases the likelihood of family disputes.
As for the girl's situation, she finds herself in a foreign country, weak, isolated, and often burdened with many responsibilities due to her unfamiliarity with local laws and language. This is where psychological effects become markedly apparent.
The success or failure of this marriage remains contingent on the details of each individual experience, as the couple's life continues to evolve according to their unique circumstances.
Shipping from Syria Abroad
Most young men abroad reject the idea of getting involved with a girl from a European or Western background, attributing it to differences in thinking, environment and mentality. These are believed to be enough to end any potential marriage experiment in failure. They also consider that "children and their upbringing will be the biggest obstacle, as the child will be confused in determining their social and cultural identity, which will be divided between the father's identity and the mother's identity."
These fears stem from the fact that the nature of Syrian society tends towards what can be called single-environment marriage.
While others reject marriage to Syrian women abroad altogether, fearing for their masculinity. A girl in Western countries is fully aware of her rights and powers, has achieved her independence in one way or another, which is disturbing to the Eastern man.
Therefore, some adopt the principle of shipping the "goods" - considering that marriage has become a "trade" in this form - from Syria and to any country in the world. It is a marriage based on an Eastern savior and a Syrian victim.
Pure and will beautify
In contrast, some expatriate youth rely on this marriage on the principle of "bribery and pledge" as he may be uneducated, with primitive thinking, and it is possible for him to be a family man on "job centers" and "living on the assistance of the host state". However, he walks around arrogantly believing that his capital is "his life in a European country". Therefore, he imposes mythical conditions on his future bride, as it is enough "to get her out of Syria".
Afterwards, he starts with his dictates, about her personality, clothes, values and principles, and even her way of thinking, so that she becomes like a game that he controls, shaping its details according to what suits his desires.
The Dance of Digital Courtship
In the age of technology and social media, the search for love has become like an adventure of traveling in virtual worlds, where some young men master the arts of digital courtship as a key to escape their alienation and accumulated loneliness in diaspora lands, to the point of addiction. But does this virtual path offer the expected sweetness or does it harbor something more complex and thrilling?
Some master the arts of digital courtship with skill, but amidst endless promises and intertwined threads of virtual love, they take on different personalities to appear as real saviors. On the other hand, girls find themselves trapped in a web of fake dreams, where the young man appears as the faithful knight who brings them back to a happy life and leads them to a bright future.
And as in the stories of Aladdin, the worlds of reality and dreams intersect, but is the magical prince real or just a fleeting inspiration of longing? Digital courtship blends with hope and disappointment in a dramatic scene that reveals the contradictions of seeking love in the digital age.
Thus, love manifests itself in unexpected ways, and perhaps the digital reality is the theater that reveals different aspects of humanity, where young people dance between their dreams and their virtual reality.
A Warning Bell.. Between the Palace of Illusions and the Facts of the Meeting
In a well-orchestrated dance to the rhythm of the alarm bell, marriage through family reunification is formed as a theater of fantasy and illusion. Here, the two partners erect extravagant palaces of fantasies and illusions, allowing each the chance to sculpt an ideal image of the other.
Marriage in this context becomes a place of fiction and brilliance, where each party builds a wall of lies to appear in the most splendid image, but can reality come to the meeting without the fanciful picture dissipating?
The young man looking for a housewife falls into the trap of illusion, presenting an image that has no relevance to reality, exploiting every excuse to pretend that he is out of the box of traditions, but does the usual “cliché” remain the ruler at the moment of meeting?
On the other hand, girls escape from their closed homelands, leaving behind restrictions and traditions, looking at travel as a window towards excessive freedom. But can this escape lead to losing one’s identity?
Thus, in this rosy space, stories alternate between illusion and reality, where marriage through family reunification appears as a complex artistic painting dealing with issues of freedom and escape from traditions in a new and exciting way.
Migration.. Then Marriage.. Then Divorce
At the heart of the social landscape of the Syrian community in Europe, the pace of married life accelerates, and with it come challenges associated with rising divorce rates. Young men feel anxious about the success of the marriage experience, especially after statistics have shown an increase in divorce cases, which were often for people who recently married through family reunification.
Girls coming from outside the European Union collide with a reality different from the rosy picture presented to them by social media. Instead of a vibrant social life, they face life challenges amid lack of social interaction and transition to a system that relies heavily on work. The state of hope turns into disappointment, and the concept of marriage is shaped differently, prompting some to refuse to continue the marital relationship.
In this context, marital disputes emerge that begin with different expectations about married life. Some women see marriage as an opportunity to improve their conditions, but when they collide with lived reality, disappointment and desire for separation arise, not to mention the lack of understanding between partners whose courtship has not exceeded the limits of a daily WhatsApp or Facebook chat.
